


Break Up With Him

by ShadowAgent1



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Mission, First story, M/M, Please Don't Hate Me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-16 03:05:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10562409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowAgent1/pseuds/ShadowAgent1
Summary: After a bad mission, Clint goes to a bar to regroup





	

**Author's Note:**

> Every time I hear the song Break Up With Him, I immediately picture Hawkeye calling Coulson. This story has been in my head forever. This is my first story so please be kind in your reviews.

It was a FUBAR mission from the beginning. I swear one of these days Fury will assign me a handler that will listen to me. I know he keeps assigning me to the baby agents to weed out the ones who won't make it but F me, do I really need to be beat up and held hostage to teach them a lesson. One time, just one time I want one of these idiots to listen to my advice. I have been doing missions for a very long time...I know some of those missions weren't for S.H.I.E.L.D but against it but still, I know what I am doing.

Anyways back to this mission from hell. I am sitting in the back of a quinjet, typing my mission brief up on my phone so it can be delivered as soon as we get into American airspace...Honestly I am just trying to make sure I am ready to run when we land so I can escape and go drown my sorrows at the closest bar….I am going to have to be fast and sneaky because I know they want me to go to medical then be debriefed which I why I was actually typing up my brief already...hopefully that will bide me some time with Fury. If I can just have this night to myself I promise I will check myself into medical first thing tomorrow afternoon when I recover from the hangover I am planning on giving myself.

The jet is getting in position to make a landing, time to make my move and jump from the plane. I stow my stuff in my duffle and make a break for it. Luckily for me there is an issue with the landing gear not engaging properly so everyone was gathered around trying to figure out what went wrong...I promise that tomorrow I will return the part I “accidentally” put in my duffle and I will feel really bad about taking it too….but today I just need to get drunk and forget everything!

I made it. I actually made it all the way off base without getting caught. I take a deep breathe and relax in the back of the taxi I decided to take to my apartment. No sense in doing all the secret stuff to get caught taking my bike from storage, besides I would have to leave it at the bar tonight and I don't want to do that. I know what you are thinking isn't your apartment the first place they will look when they realize I am missing...it would be however no one except Natasha knows about this place so I should be able to shower and change for a night out without S.H.I.E.L.D. knocking on my door.

After a relaxing hot shower, I took a 30 minute power nap. I decided that waiting a little longer to go out would be okay. Following a quick snack, I get dressed in my cowboy gear. No one would think to look for me in a country western bar...which is why that's exactly where I am headed. I locked up my secret home since I won't be returning here tonight. I know that Fury will be on a search for me tomorrow and because I like to make myself be not a total a-hole, I will go to my registered apartment where they will easily find me. 

In the cab my mind start drifting to my lack of romantic partners. It has been such a long time since I was in a relationship. There is one person I am in love with and have been since the day he shot me but I can't let him know. Every time I do get the courage, it's not the right time. Last month I thought it was finally the perfect time to tell him but wouldn't you know it, he walked into the restaurant with HER on his arm. I didn't even know her name or anything about her but I hated her. Tasha laughed so hard at the way I acted. Apparently I bent a fork in half when they walked in. I don't remember that and deny it happened. As the cab pulls up to the bar, I resolve to not think about Coulson or anyone else tonight. I am going to get drunk, line dance like an idiot, forget my issues then take a taxi home to sleep off my inebriation until some agents come to take me back to base.

Walking into the bar, I realize I made the right choice. I order my first of many beers, turn on a new song on the juke box and wait until the live music arrives and the dancing starts. After 2 beers, I realize that the same song keeps coming on. Break Up With Him has played at least 3 times that I know of. Someone must be really trying to get a point across to someone else. Poor suckers. I start singing along with the song after the fifth repeat of it. I can't help it, it's a catchy song. By the tenth time it's played while on my fourth beer, Coulson pops into my head. Why isn't he here with me? Why can't I be happy? We would be so good together. We have already spent extended time together during missions and although we do have minor disagreements, it's never been a major issue. Dammit we should be together!!!!

Before I realize what I am doing and can stop myself, I am dialing his number. Of course he answers on the second ring.

“Coulson speaking” he said sounding sexy as always.

“Break up with her” I reply

“Barton, is that you?”

“Yes, sir”

“Are you drunk?”

“No sir...well okay I have had a little to drink but I know what I am saying. Break Up With Her!!!!!! I love you sir. I have since the day you shot me. Well not the day you shot me but the day after when you visited me in the hospital and apologized but threatened to do it again. The really strange thing is until I met you I have never wanted to be with a man. I was a slut sir, I don't need to give you details but yep I was a slut...big boobs were such a turn on and then of course the…” I babbled on but luckily Coulson stopped me before I could further embarrass myself.

“Clint, I was wondering when you would get over yourself and confess your feelings. Where are you at? I need to talk with you and don't feel right doing this over the phone”

I gave the address of the bar that was conveniently around the corner from Coulson’s house. I went back to the bar and asked the bartender who keeps playing the same song over and over. She just looked at me like I had lost my mind and told me that I kept picking it. Maybe I am a little more drunk and tired than I thought. About ten minutes later, Phil came walking in looking like a sexy model. He walked straight up to me, grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me in for the best kiss of my life...then he slapped me and continued to lecture me about not following procedures and scaring him when I left base without permission. I followed him to his car after settling my tab. In the car, Coulson turned to me and said “I love you too and have since the day after I shot you. After you meet with Fury tomorrow and receive your punishment, we will discuss our future together. But for now I am taking you to our house to sleep.”

I feel asleep in his car my hand in his secure in knowing that finally I would be able to have my happiness.


End file.
